What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Edward fifth and chaser hands
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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