"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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