I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize