Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
