nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
