There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
