yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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