Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
