They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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