All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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