jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
