I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
