The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
