it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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