"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
