My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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