And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
