And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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