I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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