so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
