brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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