Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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