we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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