On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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