Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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