I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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