i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.