Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society

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(202): i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society http://tfl.nu/5vfp

Replies (55) Good night (915) Bad night (3977)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash

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(204): My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash http://tfl.nu/m3vz

Replies (15) Good night (7620) Bad night (853)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.

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(919): I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all. http://tfl.nu/fj96

Replies (7) Good night (3091) Bad night (974)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.

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(417): I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it. http://tfl.nu/weos

Replies (10) Good night (843) Bad night (4297)
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(801): View more from Utah

She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.

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(801): She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous. http://tfl.nu/mgxb

Replies (5) Good night (4562) Bad night (936)
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(810): View more from Michigan

was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?

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(810): was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams? http://tfl.nu/die2

Replies (5) Good night (2952) Bad night (1192)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.

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(816): Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing. http://tfl.nu/pnzr

Replies (1) Good night (1781) Bad night (586)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".

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(312): I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards". http://tfl.nu/xpqo

Replies (6) Good night (2249) Bad night (961)
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(207): View more from Maine

I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.

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(207): I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas. http://tfl.nu/wigg

Replies (11) Good night (1386) Bad night (491)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER

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(704): she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER http://tfl.nu/3kwv

Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (448)
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(424): View more from California

This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it

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(424): This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it http://tfl.nu/0y9z

Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (443)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things

(1-443): View more from Maryland

Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.

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(443): Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things (1-443): Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit. http://tfl.nu/9byp

Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (739)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

And we're breaking up

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(918): Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash. (918): And we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/t8m0

Replies (9) Good night (462) Bad night (1947)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots

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(318): I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots http://tfl.nu/pvb5

Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (329)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.

(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm honored.

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(712): I don't question myself. That's what I have you for. (402): I'm honored. http://tfl.nu/7y62

Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (342)

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