Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
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