i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
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This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's rum buckets o'clock
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis