And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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