i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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