I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
