i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
