I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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