But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
