his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
