You're my little dorito
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
