I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
