2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
