They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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