Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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