It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
