I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
