but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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