i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize