It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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