He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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