Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
