The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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