his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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