Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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