Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
