I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
