I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
