You work out of a Hotel?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
