Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
