you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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