Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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