Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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