can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
