i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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