Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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