I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
