We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You need Xanax blowdarts
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
