dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
