That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
